


Fear

by misswritingobsessed



Series: Words [4]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Caring, Established Relationship, F/M, Fear, Sort of happy ending, Wordcount: 100-500, Wordcount: 500-1.000, Words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-01 10:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17242913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misswritingobsessed/pseuds/misswritingobsessed
Summary: Julia is not someone who feels fear, she doesn’t like the word, she never has done, but in some situations, there is no other emotion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tagging is awful, once again. Hopefully you'll like this one, let me know if it's any good!   
> (The story is based on the three main reactions the body and mind have to fear, hiding, fleeing and freezing.)

It’s still dark when she hears the shouting from the kitchen. Her mother and father in their sixth argument of that day, at only 5:15 in the morning. By the age of five, Julia knows better that to go down and try to stop them, she knows her place. It’s on the top step, stuffed bunny called Kate in one hand and her favourite storybook in the other.

Her father always reads to her after an argument, a way of saying sorry, a way of bringing some calm to Julia after the storm she’d just heard. It had almost become routine, her parents would fight about something she didn’t understand, she would get herself out of bed, bunny in one hand, using the other to get her favourite book off the shelf and then she would take up her seat on the top step and wait for it to be over.

However, today, this morning, it was different. Same time, same argument, same seat at the top of the stairs, same bunny, same book, same tears in her eyes, but Julia knew it was different, the suitcases at the bottom of the stairs told her so.

Julia was smart for her age. She knows all too well that daddy is leaving, and maybe never coming back. She asked him yesterday if he would always read her stories, but he didn’t give her an answer.

Instead of remaining in her place at the top of the stairs she walked into the bathroom and closed the door, she took a deep breath before walking over to the large door where they stored the towels and extra soaps that smelt funny but her mother insisted they buy, stepping inside she sat down on some old towels at the bottom, her bunny in one hand, her book in the other and she waited, firstly for the door to slam and for her mother to cry, and then she waited for school to start again, however many days that was.

Julia wasn’t supposed to feel fear at the age of five, even in situations where she was probably meant to, but then her father had raised her to be strong, but her father wasn’t around anymore.

So, at the age of five, Julia felt fear for the first time. Fearful of what her mother would do now her father had walked out. So, she hid, she hid in that closet, holding her bunny, reading her book in the dark, hiding from the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia felt the fear take over. She could no longer watch. So, she gave in, she ran, she didn’t want to see what happened next.

Julia was still trying to process what has happened as someone in a bright yellow jacket led her out of the auditorium, she saw Vincent, her other protection officer stood near the door, ready to whisk her off to a safehouse, but before she can reach him, she turns around.

She half expected to see David behind her, ushering her out, she isn’t surprised when he’s not there. But her eyes instantly began to look for him. She is sure he was there when the bomb exploded, she remembered Kim running and pushing her out of the way, and she was sure it was Tom and David who helped her up before getting the attention of another police officer.

Her eyes found him, and instantly the sick feeling in her stomach got stronger.

She watched, only for a second as she saw Kim lying there, Tom performing CPR, and David hovering over them both, staring, breathing heavy, and for a moment Julia wanted time to stop, stop so that medics could move faster, so they could get to them quicker, so that she could fix something about what was happening, because she knew it was her fault. If only she’d listened – this event wasn’t safe, she wished she’d believed that a few hours ago.

It was only a moment, but it felt like hours as she watched what was happening around her, she wanted to do as the officers were saying, but she also wanted to stay, just a moment longer, just to know that Kim was going to be alright, that David and Tom were going to make it out.

That moment she wished for came and went, and she was being pulled away by those trying to protect her, but she didn’t want them, she wanted the other, David, Tom, Kim, those three, the three that had gotten her out of the shooting at Thornton Circus, the three who ran at her today, pushing her out the way of an explosive, she wanted _her_ protection officers

Julia wanted to run. It was strange, she didn’t know her own body right now, everything was screaming, she was in pain, she was confused, scared, happy, just utterly all over the place as she felt hands on her wrist pulling her towards the door, the repeated sounds of sirens, shouting and the occasionally ‘ma’am, please we need to go.’

They were beginning to get out of there, beginning to convince her that she needed to leave, but she wanted to be strong, she wanted to stay, she wanted to do something, but the more she fought, the more tired she became, and the more fear took over.

It wasn’t fear of the bomb, or fear of the fire, she hadn’t even thought of the press, the investigation, the questions.

It was fear that Kim, a single mother with two kids, with parents, with siblings, with friends, was going to die and it would be her fault.

Julia felt the fear take over. She could no longer watch. So, she gave in, she ran, she didn’t want to see what happened next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this any good? Would you like to see more?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julia sat back down on the bottom step, letting out a long breath, she wasn’t someone who felt fear all that often, but sometimes, when it came to people she loved, people she cared about, she just couldn’t help it.

He works ten minutes away, only fifteen minutes if he was waking, but yet it’s been an hour since he called, and David still hadn’t walked through the front door. Usually Julia wouldn’t worry, she didn’t own David, she didn’t need to know where he was all hours of the day, she trusted him, just like he trusted her, but today was different, today her emotions were heightened, and he knew that.

It should have taken David ten minutes from the office to get home. Julia had checked the news, she had read through the traffic updates, nothing, no crashes, no breakdowns, nothing, he should have been home by now.

In all honesty, he shouldn’t have been working at all today. Today marked two years since the bombing, and Julia had cancelled all meetings to work from home. She demanded Kim and Tom take the day off, and hoped David would too, which was the plan until someone called in with the flu and David was needed in the office, but Julia didn’t want to argue with him, she knew he was dedicated to the job, and she knew she was safe at home, but now, now she didn’t feel all that safe.

Julia knew there could be a hundred reasons why David wasn’t back yet. Maybe he’d gone to see the kids or gone to the shop to pick up a few things. Julia tried to remember if he’d mentioned anything about going to see Kim, or one of his other friends who lived in the city centre, but her mind felt as though it had stopped working, the only thing she could think about was something happening to him, something bad, something awful. She assumed that had it of been any other day of the year she would have let it go, she would have watched TV, done some laundry, washed the dishes, gotten on with some work, but today, today held too many tough memories to deal with.

Julia wanted to ring him but went against it at first. He was his own person, and she trusted him, he was probably called into a meeting, or replying to emails, finishing up paper work, he’d probably got called into a quick catch up with Commander Sampson, wanting an update on the cases they were working on.

Maybe it was just the day, the fact that today held so many unpleasant memories for her. Maybe if this happened last week, she would have been able to shower, start marking dinner, call her mother-in-law and have a thirty-minute conversation, but instead she sat on the bottom step.

Some twisted parallel to her younger years when she would sit on the top stop and wait for her parents to stop fighting, or to a few years later when she would sit in the middle, waiting for Roger to get home, just to confirm that he’d been out drinking, and more than likely screwing any woman with a pulse. It was odd, how the older she got the further down the stairs she would get.

Maybe it was the more she cared, the more she moved down? Ready to run into the arms of whoever walked through that door. If David did walk through that door.

She waited another ten minutes, her heart still racing, her mind still wondering to all the awful things that could have happened, before she regained some control and told herself another five perfectly good, honest reasons he could running late.

Just as she was about to reach for her phone again, she heard a car door slam. It was hard not to walk back into the living room and look out of the window. She knew in a few seconds she would know if it was David or not, or if it was some officers coming to tell her bad news.

In that few seconds she froze, fear taking over her. She couldn’t hide, she couldn’t run, so she just froze, waiting for something to happen, waiting for her evening to end one way or another.

The door opened, but she still held her breath.

David.

“Hey, love,” He said the moment he saw her. “I am so, so sorry, Deepak got talking about this case, and then the Commander wanted an update…” He explained quickly.

“No, it’s okay,” Julia lied, on any other day it would have been okay, but not today.

Just before David walked through to the kitchen, she spoke again. “I love you,”

David stopped, turning to look at her. “I love you too,”

Julia sat back down on the bottom step, letting out a long breath, she wasn’t someone who felt fear all that often, but sometimes, when it came to people she loved, people she cared about, she just couldn’t help it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that bring us to the end of that, it would be lovely to know if this was awful or not!


End file.
